Je Ne Regrette,

The song that has most recently been swirling in my brain and falling out of me uncontrollably is, "Non Je ne regrette rien," by Edith Piaf. Her voice has been booming in my skull and it has spread into my muscles and blood too. (I recorded my own version, you can watch it when you finish reading this. it's your dessert.)

What does it mean? The meaning is the thesis for this essay I'm writing you.

Non, rien de rien. Non, Je ne regrette rien.
Not, nothing of nothing. I do not regret a thing.

I don't regret anything.
Non, rien de rien.
I don't regret the good things or the bad things that anyone has said or done to me. My debts are all paid, for I don't live in the past. I am current; I start again from ZERO! Rien de rien!

This has become my manifesto. Maybe I'm too young to truly understand the depth of meaning that this song conveys; or it's acknowledgement of what suffering and bliss life has in store. And maybe, maybe I'll write on of my own of these songs one day. In fact, maybe I have already done that...
Still, it's my manifesto- it chose me. This song is staying with me because it was given a mission to make me listen. And I've sung it to myself-to the air-to the computer while I read the lyrics online, playing with French. I've sung "Non, rien de rien!" so many times that I believe it now.

There are so many ways to address the past. With fear and rejection, with resentment and anger, or, alternatively, with curiosity and love, with acceptance and peace, with a hope to recover the truth, the real truth. Truth, with a Captial T.

Please enjoy the following paragraph as I have:

"Human actions are based upon the operations of impressions stored in the mind through previous experiences. Every thought, emotion, and act is grounded in groups of impressions that, when considered objectively, are seen to be modifications of the mind. These impressions are deposits of previous experiences and become the most important factors in determining the course of present and future experience. The mind is constantly creating and gathering such impressions in the course of it's experience."
Meher Baba says this in the book 'Discourses'.

What He's saying, as I understand it, is that our present moment is essentially our interpretation of what's happening through the lens of our past experiences. That means that our moment could be completely different from what it is - depending on how we relate to our past and how we relate to life as it is Now.

Just, think about it. Read it again. Let it sink in. And then interpret for yourself if you please.

Regret has gotten me nothing. Nothing of nothing. What I have and who I am- that's what gets me something. And even that is just imagination- transient, ever evolving and changing.

But the beauty of all this is that eventually, event ually, I'll be empty, I'll have nothing, because I will have given my all. I will have lived for Love and that will have brought me to Love completely; without my impressions and my me-ness, without my lenses.

That's my destiny- Love. Purely. And on the way there, I will live as though I've already arrived at my destination. I will do my best! So I how could I regret a thing? Je ne regrette rien.

(if you're interested in reading the lyrics of this song, go here. This was Edith's last hit before she died in 1962.)