New Lyrics-
Don't worry little bitty it'll be alright
Together we're gonna get through tonight
Turn on the white noise and fall asleep
you swam so far and you dove so deep
You dared to go look at the underbelly
To do more than just story telling
It may be past but it's not over
You can't run away from what you don't know
Now is the time to fight for your love
Fire your engines and load your guns
It may be past but it's not done
You won't get far not knowing where you're from.
Don't worry little bitty it'll be alright.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Where are my feet?
I think I broke my toes. I was playing soccer on a trampoline the other day with one of the ... 8 children I'm currently babysitting and I missed the ball; my kick was intercepted by his shin. He was fine. But I think I broke my toes.
A couple weeks ago I was late to a music rehearsal and in the car on my way there it started to rain. When I arrived, I hurried up the walk and to the door but I slipped. I stepped my foot on the landing and it fell out from under me, my whole body flew up a few feet and I ... landed eventually. It hurt. I got a little whiplashed. I received a lashing for my tardiness.
I love running up hills. I was running up a mountainous wooded area type of hill on Monday and one of my purple shoes slipped off my foot and I fell face forward. My arms sprung out and caught me, my hands got muddy.
Yesterday, in the kitchen of some other kids' house, I was barefoot washing dishes. There were so many dishes. I was walking towards the laundry room. There was a sharp pain suddenly on the bottom of my foot. I panted- "ooh-ow-shit-crap-ow-what-the-crap-heeeeheeeehhhh-huuuhhuhhh-lamaaaaz breathing, etc.-" Slowly I picked up my ankle to examine the underside of the foot and discoverd 2 little chunklets of glass jammed up in there. Ow it hurt.
Not my glass. -Not my kitchen. -Not my dishes. -Not my kids. -- MY foot. My Foot.
My feet.
I am currently working between 5 and 6 jobs. It's a lot.
i haven't made my bed in over a week. The last time I did my dishes was a really really long time ago. there's a banana peel from yesterday next to my computer right now. sitting on top of a book called "herbal healing for women." There's junk and shoes and guitars and forks and gum wrappers and pillows and paper bags and stuff all over my apartment. There's a cereal box on the floor at my feet, cut open so I could play the games inside...but it's chutes and ladders...can't play it by myself. There are some drawings that kids left in my car. ... My car is clean.
So okay lamenting about our difficulties doesn't make them go away necessarily... maybe these aren't difficulties.Honestly, however confused I am, it's fun fumbling and falling down in the windy, wobbly life I'm living right now.
My feet are humbly searching for something steady underneath them, for the next step to take. I just keep tellin em "hang in there buddies, we're gonna get there. Just keep on shifting around like you're doing until you bump into the next obstacle to climb over and then we'll do THAT... That will be something to do!" Obstacles are easy. Because they induce adrenaline and then instincts take over. Easy.
It's the other stuff that gets my toes all tangled up. The little stepping stones in the garden, the one thing at a time things, the getting from A to Z using all the other letters in between, THAT process- Process- is really. really. challenging. I'm just not used to it.
So, I'm getting used to it. It's fun to learn. Right now- I'm not going to do anything about anything in my world that seems to need fixing except to notice and say 'well, would you look at that." and then hum a little tune on my way to the bathtub where I will take a hot bath and rub my beautiful feet. That's my first step. And then Tomorrow I'll do something else. Like...throw away the banana peel on my desk. That's enough for tomorrow...because I have three jobs to be at tomorrow, so a banana peel is the most I can really take responsibility for at home.
My feet like that. They just need to know that I'll be there for them. Like kids. Feet are like children. People are like children. Children are people. Good people. And that's why I love spending time with them and why I don't mind doing they're dishes. And I don't mind falling down a hill because I LOVE so much to run up them that it's worth the mess. And I certainly don't mind a little spill on my way to play music with people- I would endure much more than that to be able to play music.
Feet. Right now my feet are wiggling and excited for their bedtime to come.
A couple weeks ago I was late to a music rehearsal and in the car on my way there it started to rain. When I arrived, I hurried up the walk and to the door but I slipped. I stepped my foot on the landing and it fell out from under me, my whole body flew up a few feet and I ... landed eventually. It hurt. I got a little whiplashed. I received a lashing for my tardiness.
I love running up hills. I was running up a mountainous wooded area type of hill on Monday and one of my purple shoes slipped off my foot and I fell face forward. My arms sprung out and caught me, my hands got muddy.
Yesterday, in the kitchen of some other kids' house, I was barefoot washing dishes. There were so many dishes. I was walking towards the laundry room. There was a sharp pain suddenly on the bottom of my foot. I panted- "ooh-ow-shit-crap-ow-what-the-crap-heeeeheeeehhhh-huuuhhuhhh-lamaaaaz breathing, etc.-" Slowly I picked up my ankle to examine the underside of the foot and discoverd 2 little chunklets of glass jammed up in there. Ow it hurt.
Not my glass. -Not my kitchen. -Not my dishes. -Not my kids. -- MY foot. My Foot.
My feet.
I am currently working between 5 and 6 jobs. It's a lot.
i haven't made my bed in over a week. The last time I did my dishes was a really really long time ago. there's a banana peel from yesterday next to my computer right now. sitting on top of a book called "herbal healing for women." There's junk and shoes and guitars and forks and gum wrappers and pillows and paper bags and stuff all over my apartment. There's a cereal box on the floor at my feet, cut open so I could play the games inside...but it's chutes and ladders...can't play it by myself. There are some drawings that kids left in my car. ... My car is clean.
So okay lamenting about our difficulties doesn't make them go away necessarily... maybe these aren't difficulties.Honestly, however confused I am, it's fun fumbling and falling down in the windy, wobbly life I'm living right now.
My feet are humbly searching for something steady underneath them, for the next step to take. I just keep tellin em "hang in there buddies, we're gonna get there. Just keep on shifting around like you're doing until you bump into the next obstacle to climb over and then we'll do THAT... That will be something to do!" Obstacles are easy. Because they induce adrenaline and then instincts take over. Easy.
It's the other stuff that gets my toes all tangled up. The little stepping stones in the garden, the one thing at a time things, the getting from A to Z using all the other letters in between, THAT process- Process- is really. really. challenging. I'm just not used to it.
So, I'm getting used to it. It's fun to learn. Right now- I'm not going to do anything about anything in my world that seems to need fixing except to notice and say 'well, would you look at that." and then hum a little tune on my way to the bathtub where I will take a hot bath and rub my beautiful feet. That's my first step. And then Tomorrow I'll do something else. Like...throw away the banana peel on my desk. That's enough for tomorrow...because I have three jobs to be at tomorrow, so a banana peel is the most I can really take responsibility for at home.
My feet like that. They just need to know that I'll be there for them. Like kids. Feet are like children. People are like children. Children are people. Good people. And that's why I love spending time with them and why I don't mind doing they're dishes. And I don't mind falling down a hill because I LOVE so much to run up them that it's worth the mess. And I certainly don't mind a little spill on my way to play music with people- I would endure much more than that to be able to play music.
Feet. Right now my feet are wiggling and excited for their bedtime to come.
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